New Attrocity Unleashed: The Last Evil

Thank you, movie.

The Last Evil (2011)

Really? What the….


This movie starts with a great shot of a hallway and then devolves into shit. Just….Just look at this fucking shot!

Kubrick would be proud.





That’s freakin’ awesome. Then… We’re introduced to our main villain. I have to say, I’m not very afraid. If you need a smoke-stack to keep you running, all I have to do is drop a basketball in the tube on your head and defeat you. Dude. Seriously.

Least imposing villian, ever.






Also, he has a super-intelligent cat, that wants to help Mr. Smokey do…what the fuck is he going for? Oh, yeah. He’s trying to rule a city. Not a state, or country or the goddamn world, mind you. He just wants to run a city. With a psychic cat. Enough said.

Do not turn your back on this little fucker.






A bunch of dialog happens and Godzilla and the fucking cat have at it. I know. It sounds stupid, but you have to see it to believe it. *Spoiler* The cat wins.

It looks better on Blu-Ray.






Meanwhile, Johnny Storm (no relation to the Marvel character, he’s actually just a weatherman) was caught in the middle of the ruckus and irradiated by Godzilla’s radioactive breath. He has now gained the ability to embiggen his penis to describe the destruction caused by a butterfly that was also caught in the middle of the ruckus.

Radiation is seeping from my urethra. News at 11.

Butterflyra attacks!





Luckily, a super-spy has infiltrated Mr Weatherbee’s fortress and is able to sever his member.

Radiate this!





Jesus, after the Kitty defeated Godzilla, the world knew it needed help. In a BIG way. Therefore, Voltron was called in to solve the problem.

Master of the Univ...Oh wait...






Luckily, everything could be blamed on Ronald McDonald, so justice was served and millions of starving children got real beef and schooling. Thanks to the LAPD or whoever. Fuck it.

Suck it.





Happy April Fools Day. I will soon have time to get back to writing, again. Promise.

Be well.



About Nix

Dreams are hauntings in our heads.
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