The Last Evil (2011)
Really? What the….
This movie starts with a great shot of a hallway and then devolves into shit. Just….Just look at this fucking shot!
That’s freakin’ awesome. Then… We’re introduced to our main villain. I have to say, I’m not very afraid. If you need a smoke-stack to keep you running, all I have to do is drop a basketball in the tube on your head and defeat you. Dude. Seriously.
Also, he has a super-intelligent cat, that wants to help Mr. Smokey do…what the fuck is he going for? Oh, yeah. He’s trying to rule a city. Not a state, or country or the goddamn world, mind you. He just wants to run a city. With a psychic cat. Enough said.
A bunch of dialog happens and Godzilla and the fucking cat have at it. I know. It sounds stupid, but you have to see it to believe it. *Spoiler* The cat wins.
Meanwhile, Johnny Storm (no relation to the Marvel character, he’s actually just a weatherman) was caught in the middle of the ruckus and irradiated by Godzilla’s radioactive breath. He has now gained the ability to embiggen his penis to describe the destruction caused by a butterfly that was also caught in the middle of the ruckus.
Luckily, a super-spy has infiltrated Mr Weatherbee’s fortress and is able to sever his member.
Jesus, after the Kitty defeated Godzilla, the world knew it needed help. In a BIG way. Therefore, Voltron was called in to solve the problem.
Luckily, everything could be blamed on Ronald McDonald, so justice was served and millions of starving children got real beef and schooling. Thanks to the LAPD or whoever. Fuck it.
Happy April Fools Day. I will soon have time to get back to writing, again. Promise.